Manifesting Energy II: AVERSIONS
Aversion.
'Noun. A strong dislike or disinclination.
Someone or something that arouses strong feelings of dislike.'
Here are some of my daily aversions:
I don't like waking up early.
I don't like eating breakfast.
I don't like going to meetings.
I don't like strawberries.
I don't like Tom Cruise.
I don't like this The Pie Pizzeria.
I do not like my eyebrows.
Aversions. Got it?
Things that we attach negative feelings to. Attachments that bring negativity into our personal space. Black holes that pop up through our day and tug at our happiness, pulling our attention into a negative place. Do you ever feel yourself grasping onto the concept of not liking something just because there's comfort in knowing that you don't like it? As if by labeling that thing as "I don't like," you are protecting yourself from harm?
When really, you are creating a lower-realm of reality for yourself. A reality where you are surrounded by things you do not like. Because you've been focusing your attention on them.
A quote from Abraham-Hicks Publications:
"You cannot look at that which you do not want and not join and perpetuate that vibration. Take your attention from that which is not in harmony with who you are, and your 'now vibration' will adjust to who you really are - and then you can uplift others."
I look around at my America today and I see the divide becoming thicker and and I see more people getting comfortable with aggravation. I see a serious attachment to aversion. Entire political platforms are being built upon communal and mutual aversions. I don't like you so I'm against you. For some reason, for a lot of people who are suffering greatly, grasping onto these intense aversions, help to put the problems and the pain onto something or someone else. Pretty much, making your suffering some one else's fault. You think you are protecting yourself from something you do not like. Somehow seeking comfort in that shielded "otherness." These aversions brings us racism, xenophophia, misogyny and homophobia. When these aversions are shared in large rallies that amplify them, these dangerous movements begin to grow.
Sharon Salzberg writes about working with aversion and anger in her book, Loving-Kindness.
She starts this chapter by explaining how metta, or compassion, cannot exist when aversion takes it's place. In her words, "because hatred and aversion are the opposite of the state of love, they are considered the 'far enemy' of metta."
Tell me more Sharon:
"These states of aversion tear us apart; we burn when we are caught in them. The Buddha described the states of aversion as being of great consequence but easily overcome. They are of great consequence because they easily provoke strong action, leading us to perform unskillful deeds that hurt both ourselves and others. But even though such states are dangerous, nonetheless the pain of them is obvious, tangible and easily felt. From beginning to end they bring great pain, so we are naturally moved to let them go."
When I think about the times in my life when I heavily attached to my aversions, I realize that they were almost all directed towards myself. And it ended up being pretty damaging.
Salzberg teaches us that aversions are a force of energy that either are "out-flowing" or "held-in." Anger and rage are powerful, expressive and out-flowing. Fear, grief and disappointment are held-in to the point of making us "frozen and paralyzed."
I think we understand why being hateful towards others is destructive.
Self-aversion is just as destructive. Actually, I believe it is more damaging.
Why? Because it causes you to align with a lower being inside of yourself. That lower vibration will play out on those around you. Darkness spreads just like light.
I taught myself to hate Jane. Started at a young age.
I never thought I was good enough at anything, always pushing to be perfect, to be cool, to fit in with the people around me and to be the image of success my parents expected me to execute.
And I got there with a whole memoir of negative self-talk. It was all learned. It was a reality that I created in my head. By the time I got to college, that inner dialogue drove me to completely stop caring for myself. As I pushed through work, school, sports and my social life in college, I was ravaged by nightmares, I was starving myself, I was living every day in fear of my own mind. I hardly looked in the mirror because I hated what I saw, I weighed myself daily and felt extreme aversion towards the dropping numbers all while continuing to badger myself to keep up my perfectionism with racing and working and college work. I look back in complete amazement that my body survived this detachment spell. This self-aversion aligned me with such a lower realm of reality for myself that it nearly killed me. So yeah, I completely agree Sharon, the mind-state of aversion tears us apart. Fuckin' burns us.
If it's another person causing that aversion, try to remember that we all want the same thing: Happiness. Also try to remember that we all experience the same thing: Suffering. Wish for that person to have happiness and freedom from suffering. That should help ease the aversion towards them. If it is aversion toward oneself you are struggling with, it's time to start planting the seed of compassion. You must begin with yourself. Sit in meditation and bring to mind your younger self. Go through the years, seeing yourself and making that same wish for happiness and freedom from suffering for that person as you did the bothersome person. Be a friend to that younger you, speak kindly to her.
You are all you have.
You've got to love yourself.
Compassion truly is the seed to living a life that is more free from suffering and aversion.
I've been observing myself heavily through out each day this past few weeks.
Every time my brain goes, I don't like that, I stop and take a moment.
I observe how it feels in my body.
I ask, what is the emotion under this averse feeling?
I try to take a few deep breaths and let it go, which usually works.
I remember: feelings of aversion are like little black holes in my day where love cannot exist.
If that still doesn't work, I try to reconcile it by asking myself what is true and what is logical.
Maybe there is a reason for feeling this upset.
No matter what, if I still feel the burn of the aversion, I will take myself out of the situation.
This can mean putting down the phone, walking out of the room or turning on music to shift your mood somewhere else.
Being an Aries, I must keep my fire energy in check.
Aversions are a quick trigger.
It's okay to take a moment.
I try not to judge myself for feeling that fire come up.
I watch for the message behind it. The intuitive wisdom.
Because sometimes that message says to make a change.
We can't ignore all of our aversions. We cannot let go of all of them.
If we did that, there wouldn't be activism or cathartic love songs.
Most bad-ass things were created because someone didn't like what was happening and wanted to change it. So please, don't let me discount aversions altogether.
What I'm trying to say is, if you really have so much disdain for something: CHANGE IT.
Move out, quit your job, break up with a toxic person, QUIT COMPLAINING.
Change that averse, negative energy into something EVEN MORE POSITIVE.
You are in control of your life. I'm not fucking kidding. Read this blog if you need more inspiration on that shit.
Remember, it's all about where you are focusing your energy.
I end this post with another quote:
With so much love,
Jane <3
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