Building Man (#15)

Here is a journal entry post-Building Man: 

May 5, 2018: 

Aj and I packed up the car on Thursday morning to head to Building Man @ The Jenkstar ranch in Green River, Utah. It was deep behind some amazing red rock formations in this little pocket of land. We were greeted at the ranch gates with hugs and a Jenkstar newspaper. 

We drove straight to the center of the village to check out the CATALYST booth. Every one was literally building shit. Carrying around ladders and power drills. It was clear that this little village had to be built and secured before the festival began. We have the Jenkstars to thank for all their hard work. We hung some fabrics and placed some cushions, then went back to the camping area to set up our little home. I love our glamping set-up. We got a new air mattress that made our tent event dreamier than last time. I was so pumped to crack open a beer and relax into this soul-feeding land. 

As we finished setting up and started munching down on some fruits and mushrooms, I noticed the colors and shapes around me becoming more strong and vivid. My consciousness was shifting. We returned to the village, but on a completely new planet, with a new species of humans. We came upon the Sol Lun (a structure I was already familiar with from 9 years ago at my first music festival - Desert Rocks - where I spent most of the evening with my band of boys breathing in second-hand marijuana smoke and turning down offers for LSD and ecstasy). It was opening night. The Jenkstar species of desert-dwelling steampunk hippie families were overflowing around the geometric structure. I felt like every one looked over at me and saw that we were not a part of the tribe. Not in a tribalistic matter however, more in a 'welcome new souls to our planet' way.

We climbed up to the top of the central hill and were awe-struck by the incredible sunset view of the land. Green River is one of the most spectacular places in the world. We were tucked away, hiding in the middle of the desert. We were so far away from any real civilization. I breathed in a strong sense of freedom. Complete, human, physical, spiritual freedom in this place. 

It immediately got darker as we descended back into the village center. A big tattooed man in a kilt was building a fire. A beautiful curly haired woman was on the boat-shaped stage alone with her guitar, singing her folk songs for us under a green spotlight. We cozied into some couches around the fire. Although I had only met a few people at this festival so far, I felt as if I were surrounded by family. There was a closeness in the village. 

The CATALYST booth had been transformed when we returned. Our new friend Josh had rigged up a wall of mirrors just using rope. He then got out some paints and brushes, asking us if we'd like to paint the mirrors. I could not resist. 

Among my favorite parts were the little kids - specifically a little dancing zebra girl with her cat-eye glasses and light-up microphone. This was the first festival I 've ever been to where I actually thought, "I'm going to bring my kids here someday." Yeah, it's that family- friendly. The land even has an entire play structure for the 'coyotes' (kiddos) that is shaped like a giant sinking pirate ship. Every person I met greeted me with a heart hug and a loving welcome. I made friends that I look forward to seeing again next year. I played on a funky old classical guitar. I tasted mead for the first time (booze made from honey). 

Oh and the STARS. We forget what a watered down version of a night sky we get here in Salt Lake City. The stars at this ranch were an incredible reminder of the vastness of my life in regards to the ultimate universe. I felt so small and so human and so whole and so connected. 

The next morning I awoke completely refreshed and so excited to peep out the front door and breathe in some fresh desert air. Waking up in a tent is one of my top favorite feelings in life. Of course, step one is always a trip to the compoosters - a revolutionary practice in festival waste management that was perfected by the Jenkstars. It was a hot and sunny day with a perfect breeze flowing through the canyon. We decided we would take the car a mile away to the river for a little solace and swim. 

Green River is one of my favorite waterways in Utah. It flows through so much beautiful land. You can meet her beaches in so many locations and be completely isolated. We found some rocks in the stream to sit on and let the healing waters flow over and around our bodies. We soaked in the sun, sunk our feet into the sand and surrendered to her nature. Being a city-slicker, I have to really make it a mindful point to connect with nature in this way. As I felt my soul settle, I got up and started some qi gong flow on the rocks. I visualized a current running from the top of my head, down my chakras and into the earth's core. Like a torus of energy it flowed back up and around me. I had elevated my spirit to line up with vibration of Gaia. Retreat success. 

With this refreshed feeling, we head back into the camp where our friends had finally arrived and started setting up their camp next to ours. We put on fresh costumes and glitter and head back into camp for night two. 

And here's where my biggest festival mistake/ lesson happened: I had a gig booked for the next day at 11am. We were 3.5 hours away from SLC. I casually decided we would just get up at the crack of dawn and drive back for my gig. Easy enough right? Aja even started packing up all our shit before we headed back into the village that night. But around midnight that fearful anxiety came over me. 

Knowing that we would have to get up in five hours and make the drive home - that pressing concern kind of kept me from enjoying the rest of the night. I really wanted to go back to the tent and get some rest so that I could be prepared for the next day's adventure. So we did. And at 4:30 am my alarm went off and most of the festival was still awake! Which actually did make it easier to pack up and get out of there. It was painful, but by 5:10am we were on the road headed back to Salt Lake. My eyes were so sleepy. I've never been such a drowsy driver. Aj and I switched off driving until we finally made it back to town by 8:30 with plenty of time to spare. 

When I got out of the shower (first of three in the efforts to get totally clean), I had a few texts from a fellow musician saying she had been trying to get a hold of me to swap me spots. She asked if I could play in the afternoon at 2pm. Both irritated and relieved, I got back in bed to indulge in some netflix and clean hair to brush until I had to pull up the boot straps and head to Open Streets SLC.

And seriously, it was so much fun. I was so glad I got the later slot. The crowd was packed. It was so worth the drive. It was so worth the lesson in the future: never set a deadline to return home from a festival - it will steal your joy in the present. But on that same note: You CAN have it all :)  

Here's a song from that gig: