Why Businesses That Fly Pride Flags Year Round Make Me Really Freakin' Happy. (Blog #8)

March 09, 2018

21st Yoga, my new home studio always has their flag flying.

The rainbow flag has been a symbol of gay pride for quite some time. We can thank Gilbert Baker, a Kansas boy that grew into a proudly gay San Fransisco man, for the symbol. During the first week of June, most businesses in town hang their pride flags in preparation for the biggest party of the year – The Salt Lake City Pride Parade. These days, every one wants to get in on Pride weekend and I love that and it's also a whole other story.

I want to focus on the businesses that fly pride flags year-round as a symbol of safety and solidarity in the community.

I used to joke with my girlfriend when we walked into places with flags like, "oh yay, we are welcome here. That's nice." But as I continued to recognize and acknowledge the businesses in town that fly pride flags year round, I realized that it actually fucking means a lot to me. I don't mean to speak for any one else in the community (please, comment your thoughts below) but I'd like to make a claim as to why it is so important to our town to keep these flags up year round.

When my girlfriend and I first started going out together in public, I was obviously quite nervous. It was the first time I had been "out" in Utah. I was afraid of harassment. I was afraid we would be shamed. Sometimes I was afraid we might not be safe. We've been in some less than desirable situations – I never want to overlook the fact that some men have treated us quite poorly and with serious disrespect. But I want to really be loud when I say that the Salt Lake community has showered us with love and adoration. When a grown man walking down the street looks at us and says, "You two are a beautiful couple!" that's the kinda stuff I hold onto. A majority of the public feedback we receive is positive and supportive.

At the beginning of this week I posted to my Instagram that I was feeling pretty nervous lately and how I went to Sugarhouse Coffee to meet a friend and get a mood-boost. I walked up to the register to refill my canteen and I noticed they had little pride flag stickers with the coffee shop logo on them. I touched them and smiled as asked for a refill. I acknowledged that feeling of being acknowledged. I felt warm and suddenly less alone. As a queer person, seeing that flag says to me: "You're safe here. In fact, we love having you here. Oh and, you're not alone here either." I took it quite personally, and I carried that warmth with me through my day, inspiring me to write this post.

Utah is unfortunately not the safest place for those of us who identify as LGBT. Suicide is rampant in this state. In fact, guns are the number one killer of kids in Utah. Guns they are using on themselves. So, although we are one of the most "gay friendly" cities in America, our youth are actually not experiencing that friendliness in their day to day lives. They are feeling ostracized, shamed and doomed. It has become one of my life's missions to help make this state a safer and more compassionate place for young people to grow up, queer or not. And I've got to say that I believe the symbol of the pride flag is a tool that can bring us one step forward.

I took to my Facebook page to ask my friends: "How does it make you feel when you walk into a business that hangs a Pride flag?"

After 24 hours, these were the responses:

"That they support their community."
"Warm and Happy."
"Safe."
"Warm. Welcome. Proud. Loved."
"Makes me want to support that business!"
"Happy. Relaxed. Safe. Means they're kind folk!"

These responses put the biggest smile on my face, they also gave me chills and warmed my heart. Because those adjectives are exactly what you should feel when you see a pride flag. So, if we are trying to make Salt Lake a safer place for kids in the LGBT community, hanging these flags in your place of business literally creates safe spaces in town. And the more safe spaces we can create, the more square footage of this city that will actually feel "safe." That symbolism will be recognized among our youth more often and more consistently. These flags acknowledge that our lives matter. Knowing that people in my community feel safer when they see those flags only motivates me to keep acknowledging the businesses that do hang the flags year-round. They deserve a round of applause. Nobody asked them to be advocates or allies for us through their business. That was completely their choice. And I'm so grateful for those business owners in town.

So, let me shout-out and offer my deepest gratitude to the following businesses that truly make me feel warm, loved and safe:

Sugarhouse Coffee
21st Yoga
Iconoclad
Smoke Break
PLEASE COMMENT TO ADD ANY BUSINESSES TO MY LIST! I WILL KEEP IT UPDATED AND RUNNING AS MORE BUSINESSES CHOOSE TO FLY A FLAG YEAR-ROUND. THEY DESERVE RECOGNITION!!