Deep Thoughts

Labels are this giant double-edged sword. We use them to help others understand more of who we are, and while that is happening, we are being put in a little box with that label on it. Then, because we love boxes, we start to draw our own, categorizing every aspect of ourselves as a way of being understood. How do we save ourselves from this spiral!?  In terms of the true spectrums at play in queer existence, labels can chop us up and divide us. Keeping us in boxes that constrict our truest freedom. The freedom to love. Because every human has a completely unique romantic and sexual energy flowing through their bodies. Every person's sensual personality comes into bloom on their own time. Each as unique as our fingerprints. Whether you are straight or gay or in between, every one explores that side of themselves in their own way. Some begin exploring at a very young age, others like myself are late bloomers. Some people know they are gay by first grade. Others wait forty year...

Here is a journal entry post-Building Man:  May 5, 2018:  Aj and I packed up the car on Thursday morning to head to Building Man @ The Jenkstar ranch in Green River, Utah. It was deep behind some amazing red rock formations in this little pocket of land. We were greeted at the ranch gates with hugs and a Jenkstar newspaper.  We drove straight to the center of the village to check out the CATALYST booth. Every one was literally building shit. Carrying around ladders and power drills. It was clear that this little village had to be built and secured before the festival began. We have the Jenkstars to thank for all their hard work. We hung some fabrics and placed some cushions, then went back to the camping area to set up our little home. I love our glamping set-up. We got a new air mattress that made our tent event dreamier than last time. I was so pumped to crack open a beer and relax into this soul-feeding land.  As we finished s...

Here's a journal entry from a Sunday night a few weeks ago: Today was the first Sunday in months that I decided to not get up early and go to the temple for Puja [Devotional Ceremony] . I really wanted to sleep in and stay home and practice by myself in my own space.  I'm noticing this huge catholic guilt hanging over me for only going to the temple once this week. I really like to go 4 times. I'm not sure what to do with these feelings, so I'm writing them down.  A few week's later, when Aj and I had our getaway in Mystic Hot Springs, I missed another puja. It happened to be on a day that a Tibetan Rinpoche came to town and gave an impromptu teaching for a practice that I've only received small pieces of. I was thrilled to hear stories and see videos and pictures of the experience from my sangha friends the next day. Just like I was thrilled to tell them and show them what I was up to with my love. Both experiences felt important and enlightening to a pe...

April is here.. which means BIRTHDAY MONTH! Not just for me but for my girlfriend too – so we're celebrating all month long. The first of four birthday weekends started with an epic day of skiing with the boys at Solitude Resort. It was a perfect day and I ended up with a perfectly windburned ski face (see last post for photos) and a skiers high that lasted well into the the night of hottubbing and Netflixing. On Saturday morning we got up early, loaded the glamping set up into my car and drove 2.5 hours south to a tiny town called Monroe, Utah. Hang a left after the Family Dollar and you'll arrive at a truly magical place – Mystic Hot Springs. I'm sure you've seen photos of it on Pinterest travel boards. The whole piece of land is a boiling hot spot. Porcelain bathtubs are built into the side of the hill where streams of natural hot springs flow down, filling the tubs with pure water and steam. It's incredible. At the very top, there are ...