Deep Thoughts

My next story doesn’t happen until my last year of high school. I’d had a few casual boyfriends. Fell head over heels for a Mormon boy that I never had a chance with. Never even kissed him!  I made out with a few cute boys but never wanted to do anything further than that. The thought that people our age were having sex – it totally disgusted me. I had absolutely no interest. Then one of my friends in choir class told me that this Tumblr-famous girl at our school posted one of my songs onto her page. (I had been putting every ounce of my energy into becoming a professional musician, among many other goals).  I didn’t know her, but I was interested in meeting this Tumblr-famous girl. I followed her on Twitter to try to see who she was. She followed me back. We chatted. And there it was. I had made the connection. I was excited to meet a new friend. Her name was Sam.  After that I started noticing her around campus and realized she was really quiet and shy, bu...

These are stories about my girl-crushes. The stories I didn't really get to tell growing up. I think most people who grew up in the closet have similar stories. Talking about who you "liked" or, " liked liked " growing up, seemed to be the number one topic of discussion. Gossip is in our nature. Assuming heteronormativity among young people is also in our nature. So those of us who grew up in the closet probably didn't get to share who it was they were  really  crushing on. In fact, they probably had a lot going on in their heads that they haven't opened up about. So, I invite you all to share with me, who were your first crushes? What was it like? Let's celebrate it. Originally, this story was called "Life In The Closet." But I didn't really grow up telling myself that I was in the closet. It was more, society pushing me into a certain role as a female. It was more, the stories that I told myself about society and how...